Would titling this "orgasm" make you want to read it?

disclosure: this is a schizophrenic blog ...

In the midst of

a President Obama "executing" a fly during an interview and getting grilled by PETA for his insensitive behavior (surprise, surprise),

a LA Lakers City Celebration costing millions, in which Mayor Villaraigosa, who couldn't seem to accumulate donations for recent remedial programs for the city's current $529 million budget deficit, somehow managed to get his 'friends' to cover the rest of the tab,

an Iranian presidential election result causing civil unrest by the hands of the angered and revolutionary youth,

is it safe to say that the BEST explanation for why we all go through such unnecessary hardships, criticisms, experiences...etc... is because, well, "shit" happens?

I'm referring to the infamous "shit happens" phrase- that existential life observation most probably coined by the characters of Forrest Gump and experienced by all peoples and creatures of this world.

....that no matter what, maybe even when good things are happening, something or someone will happen that will essentially KILL it, for lack of a better phrase.

It's quite inexplicable though. But it seems like "IT" is a tenet to life:

- we are born

- we live life

- (we shimmy)

- shit happens

- we die

sad trip.

Nothing remains dandy and happy all the time. Everything and everyone is questioned, ridiculed, hated. Nothing is harmonious. Live in moderation? Too much of one thing is never good. No existence is perfect. >insert every generic and cliche phrase that essentially depicts the stories of our lives here<

Perfection reminds me of Edward Scissorhands or the theme song to Walgreens. It's that unattainable utopia that seems to be so ideally crafted in our imagination yet we cannot even begin to achieve it in reality.

Obama can't swat a fly during an interview without having PETA on the other line calling him out on his insensitivity.

The Lakers' celebration is called into question because while they're banking on their championship, the fans are losing jobs day-by-day- so why utilize city funds to make the rich richer?

And the present-day Iranian president-elect Ahmadinejad, despite his past and present efforts to liberalize society, has managed to open up a can of worms.

Yes, shit happens to us all....except maybe to the Mayans.

'They' say that that Mayan civilization is untraceable because the Mayans 'disappeared' into oblivion by reaching all-around human perfection:

Physical, emotional, mental perfection.

They perfected the art of human physicality, of reaching that plateau-I'll say it: the orgasm (don't act like you didn't finally click on that link). By taking the time to discover and hone in on their touch-sensitive skills and body-conscious preferences, the Mayans were able to pleasure themselves and others and fully understand and appreciate all magical things big-O related.

The mental orgasm would be enlightenment; what few geniuses of this world have attained-one's own gifted ability to calculate, conclude, deduct, induct, create, demolish, enhance, and question more or differently compared to the average human population.....

Emotional and psychological perfection is one in the same I suppose, and that's perfecting the art of interaction, perfecting one's own capabilities as a human being.

If a person, for instance, was crying at a gas station (let's choose Mobil), seldom, if ever, would we take the time to approach him or her. We lose sight of the importance of human interaction and treating each other as familial beings; and instead we just pass along with our own busy, technological lives because shit happens and we figure that, in this case, the grieving Mobil gas station person doesn't need our random act of kindness. Or we don't do anything maybe because we're running late, don't really care, or maybe since 'shit happens', we don't risk helping vulnerable-looking people because we fear they'll turn out to be that slasher/rapist/robber that the movies do so well a job depicting...so we fill our ever-expensive gas and move about our most-fascinating lives.

The Mayans probably wouldn't have ignored the gas-station victim, but then again, maybe that's why they don't exist.

Technology has made us far too consumed with the temporal things in life; we forget to live life adventurously, cerebrally, sensitively. We communicate dates, meetings, class schedules via the worldwide web. We webcam (some more uncontrollably than others, hi Jak), we fill out our virtual calendars, we order nudesushi and mrs.munchies, and if we're looking, we can even expedite a mail-order bride/groom. We text/email/im/message our lovers, friends, or family when we're upset and we develop our skills at virtually communicating our feelings and virtually laying them all out there, but only through the controlled and lagged process of technology. Because at least we can prepare what we want to say or take the time to respond to something in it's entirety since our fried-brain cells no longer hold the competence of carrying a logical, well-thought out verbal conversation.

We do and express everything technologically...our feelings? We put ALL our emotions/thoughts on an email/im/blah blah and hit the 'send' button only to await another virtual blurb to which we would not only read the reply, but we'd subconsciously analyze:

1. the length of time the sender took to send a reply and of course

2. the way the reply was written-whether it was short and choppy, emitting a character to the message that would allows us to interpret the sender's emotions

Wow, biggest tangent in my life, this blog.

But I guess it all ties back to this universal idea that shit happens? Maybe shit wouldn't happen if we weren't so consumed with technology--- or questioning religion, morality, SEX, drugs...maybe the Mayans didn't have the time to question so much of life because they were only yet beginning to figure it out- and invested all that time exploring their own natural bodies, instead of the unnatural, inorganic processes of what life has become.

Since I've already talked about everything else, I might as well briefly mention Chris- the 'phucking' (pronounced 'fu') Berkeley man, who keeps getting arrested by the police, and is given yearly court orders to stay away from campus, because he does the same thing every day, all day:

-hold signs/posters denouncing technology i.e. 'fuck you for phucking technology'

-screams at people who are using it i.e 'you're phucking your mom on the phone'

-tries to persuade the crowds, who gather around him, to give up their technological ways i.e. 'if you stopped phucking, you'd live a longer life'

He says we're "phucking" technology; he riles up large crowds and tells them that for every time they put on that earphone and listen to a song, they are alienating fellow human peers from interacting with them. He says that we are slowly becoming robotic automatons, no longer interested in human interaction. Instead, we're too busy listening to music fed through earphones shooting high frequency waves into our ever-lessening IQ-filled brains as we walk to class like zombies.

Chris says that technology will be the death of us, because day-by-day we look to make things easier, faster, more efficient. For a man who has been deemed 'crazy' by society, he's completely right. Technology is taking over our existence, affecting our emotions, behavior, way of life...for every lag, pause, freeze, glitch, and failure we feel highly agitated, needy, greedy, annoyed, tempered, flustered, and well, shitty.

I hope Chris' court order is revoked, I miss conversing with him about the complexity of human beings...our bodies, thoughts, minds....We delve in such petty technological matters- giving ourselves and others more shit we can handle. Instead of figuring out more about the mechanism of our being, we strive to discover and master things like unlocking cool programs on that new iPhone of ours..

I mean, don't people find it odd that parts of our feet/body channel other limbs, so you could rid yourself of a headache if you rub a certain part of your foot or shin? Isn't it odd that we have crazy instincts and adrenaline rushes that enable us to act like that one mom that pulled a terminator and lifted a car to get her child out? Imagine finding out how your body triggers certain reactions- and I'm not talking about a pure scientific explanation. I'm referring to those underlying animalistic tendencies that occur during specific stages of our psyche. Imagine controlling your adrenaline, remedying your body by rubbing, poking, pricking yourself without the use of medicinal aid or technology.

But we don't and won't w.o.t. I'll continue writing redundant, tangential, aimless blogs, you'll continue Facebook stalking, your neighbor will continue to criticize that one politician, your friend will mope around aimlessly for a non-existent job opportunity, and life will move on senselessly.

We're never going to sit down and rub our shin and figure out how it makes us feel. We're never going to log every single dream of ours and determine whether our dreams dictate the past, present, or future of our lives or of the lives of others we know. We're never going to truly master the art of orgasms, be it mental, psychological, and physical (though, that could be questionable)..

We phucking don't have time to 'discover' ourselves damnit.

We will continue to criticize and hassle, discriminate and discourage, consume ourselves in technology. We will continue to give shit and go through it- it's quite a harmonious and ironically reciprocal, karmic process.

This is my lengthy stream of consciousness. Way too long of a read...

I blame summer.

I blame all the responsibilities that have been bestowed upon my loquacious existence.

I blame the Mobil gas station.

so what's the conclusion to all this?

......

did you really phucking expect one? -_-