Things I learned when I studied abroad in Italy

Lesson 1: Don't ever ask a local Italian for directions, otherwise you will go "right-left-straight-around-under-and-over"-to nowhere only to ask another Italiano who will then re-direct you leftward, rightward, around on a loopty loop. But be careful if they also give you an eta towards your destination, because...

Lesson 2: If an Italian tells you it's a 5 minute walk- expect to walk for at least 20 minutes. Plan accordingly.

Lesson 3: If you ask an Italian if they speak English- 99% of the time they will answer that they don't speak a lick of English or they know "a little." Expect them to be more fluent than you are.

Lesson 4: Italian stallion men are as charismatic and charming as women/people stereotype them to be. Ciao bella.

Lesson 5: Everyone and their grandmother (quite literally) drives a vespa/moped/motorbike.

Lesson 6: Almost every store/supermarket/everything shuts down on Sundays because "the country still  believes in God"-- Counselor S. Lask

Lesson 7: You will consume alcohol (more specifically, wine and champagne) like it is juicy-juice by your second day. Your excuse for developing such high tolerance is that the culture forces you to partake in evening aperitivos (appetizers) where finger-food is consumed in conjunction with copious glasses of fine wine.

Lesson 8: "With Italians, your problem becomes our problem" said a local Italian friend after I shied away from seeking his advice and told him I couldn't burden him with my problems. Refer to Lesson 4.

and finally, Lesson 9: Studying abroad= oxymoron.

Arrivederci.

~roma italiana