Sunday, May 9, 2010

good things

It is a widely known belief that all good things come to an end.

Life, laughter, pleasure, love, friendship, schooling, careers, successes. These are all good things that have ends in and of themselves.

So how do we humans surpass the agony of defeat?

Besides adhering to the psyche of "shit happens", "you only live once", "karma's a ..", or "everything happens for a reason", as means of psychologically coping with the disastrous turn of events when "shit hits the fan", if we acknowledge that all good things come to an end, the only way to live up and on is to "carpe diem".

"Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary", says English teacher John Keating (played by Robin Williams) from the film Dead Poets Society.

And indeed that is all that will empower us. If you go into a calculus test knowing you're going to fail because you're ill-prepared, you study, memorize, cram, and own that test when it comes time to take it.

Indeed, life is like a calculus test. If all good things come to an end, we must acknowledge it, and fight it, until we own it. We are all but human, in control insofar as much as we can assert our own bodily lives. If we place our fingers on a hot stove, we automatically retract as a result of an unpleasant sensory experience. Initiated by the stimulation or malfunction of the peripheral/central nervous systems, physical pain causes human beings to react. Retraction means withdrawing ourselves from experiencing permanent pain, in this case- fingers that develop blisters or even more detrimental results.

But what happens when the painful experience is not physical?

How do people cope from emotional losses such as losing their jobs, loved ones, relationships, failing exams and essentially experiencing good things coming to an end?

Like the physical reaction of induced bodily pain, if we acknowledge the trials and tribulations we experience as daily norms in human life, then we are one step closer to living life in a happier and healthier manner. Unfortunately, our coping mechanism from such types of "pain" isn't quite as simple as removing a limb from the source of pain, like fingers from a hot stove.

Emotional and psychological experiences are sometimes or maybe even most times deeper than physical ones, and it is up to us to desensitize ourselves from ill-thoughts that will only produce a downward spiral of ever-growing sorrow, defeat, sadness, and hate.

What I mean to say in all this is, the only way to defeat "all good things coming to an end" is to acknowledge that this fact is universally true; but we must also refrain from living our lives in a pessimistic manner that keeps us hopeless, unmotivated, sad, or defeated. Instead, we must recognize this fact as a positive aspect of human nature- that if good things didn't come to an end, then we'd live an unaltered life of perfection, and where's the fun in that?

Regardless of what religion or belief you may or may not follow, this solution can be universal. But of course, such a "solution" is easier said than done. Life-changing experiences such as trauma cannot simply be dismissed or dealt with by merely acknowledging the fact that such bad things are expected to come so me must merely cope with it. This is the difficulty of human life.

As complex human beings, we have developed a biological coping mechanism towards entities that physically harm our bodies, yet we are far from mastering or even understanding what it is that will ameliorate the emotional and psychological pain or trauma we experience.

So what do we do, and how do we do it?

We all have our own ways of dealing with losses. Denial, sadness, hate, resentment, hope, passion, anger, motivation, inspiration, hopelessness, violence, love, defeat, pessimism, regret, guilt, and/or disbelief.

But what would happen if we merely desensitized ourselves from our experiences? What if we consciously retracted ourselves, like we did our finger from the stove, in ways that mentally, emotionally, and psychologically remove us from the source(s) of pain?

What if, in preparation of potential trauma that may or may not come our way, we react to other aforementioned losses through this process of desensitization?

Would that make us heartless creatures- or rather- happier, perhaps even healthier, human beings?


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Rom you're awesome and this was great to read I love you

but honestly, I don't think all good things have to come to an end, whatever ends is merely ending to allow for something greater to occur, good things can come to an end for BETTER things to take their place

<3 you